A quick introduction before I start the main post. Yes, I forgot to post last week and I'm sorry. Two hours of French fits badly with having to write afterwards. Also, this post is a tad lazy as it's a speech I'm forced to write for English. The topic's Things I would put in Room 101. Enjoy, see you in a fortnight.
"Above all, I wouldn't hesitate to put paranormal romance novels in Room 101. There are very few things I hate more.
Do I really care about some unconnected, 2D characters fall in love with a pale, muscle-y bloke who reinforces a bad image of masculinity? I wouldn't mind if I didn't have to wade through a pathetic slush pile to get to any kind of quality.
It's getting too popular for its own good. Some nearly-author sends off their paranormal romance manuscript and of course it's going to get published. An agent receives a half-legible story and they just know they'll be bathing in money by the end of the week.
Paranormal romance falls, sadly, under the umbrella of sci-fi/fantasy. I search for fantasy novels and young adult romance novels always come up. I see a book about the Devil. Brilliant! Always wanted to know to what Lucifer gets up to on a day-to-day basis. Yet no. It's a bleeding love story. I don't care about his love life, I care about his general evilness. He is Devil, after all.
One thing that gets me, though, is the readers of it. The fangirls, and I can assure you that 90% of them shall be female, are possibly the second most abhorrent type of fangirl. They shall squeal and scream, metaphorically, at every twist of the book. Boring, lifeless character A snogs boring, lifeless character B. Big deal!
It's not how they read, and subsequently share on the internet, the books. It's how they buy them. Fellow sf/f fans shall agree that being an sf/f fan is like being in Fight Club. You don't talk about it. The idea is you walk into the bookshop, hunched over and silent. You paw through a few books, although it's more likely you'll know what you're looking for, find one that looks nice and buy it, then go home. I find para-romance readers go to the section with an entourage of friends. They giggle loudly as they talk about dud pararomance book number eight and how it's just come out, smugly hinting to the world they've read the whole series. Congratulations, you can read!
Once they've finally bought it, after half an hour of talking about who has decided to play hard to get more or which character had his shirt off the most in the last book, their pompousness doesn't stop. They decide to continue to talk about every minor detail to all their friends as they walk out of the store. Who is going to sleep with who, how great it would be as a movie (tip: it wouldn't) and how many more books they can buy. Must I refer back to my Fight Club analogy? You can talk about the book in a highly detailed and legible review, and that's it. Discussing out of the house, and out of sci-fi conventions, is a major no-no.
So, as a message to every reader of Meyer, Clare and whoever else you care to name. Think about what you're about to read, think really hard. And then go read something better."
"Above all, I wouldn't hesitate to put paranormal romance novels in Room 101. There are very few things I hate more.
Do I really care about some unconnected, 2D characters fall in love with a pale, muscle-y bloke who reinforces a bad image of masculinity? I wouldn't mind if I didn't have to wade through a pathetic slush pile to get to any kind of quality.
It's getting too popular for its own good. Some nearly-author sends off their paranormal romance manuscript and of course it's going to get published. An agent receives a half-legible story and they just know they'll be bathing in money by the end of the week.
Paranormal romance falls, sadly, under the umbrella of sci-fi/fantasy. I search for fantasy novels and young adult romance novels always come up. I see a book about the Devil. Brilliant! Always wanted to know to what Lucifer gets up to on a day-to-day basis. Yet no. It's a bleeding love story. I don't care about his love life, I care about his general evilness. He is Devil, after all.
One thing that gets me, though, is the readers of it. The fangirls, and I can assure you that 90% of them shall be female, are possibly the second most abhorrent type of fangirl. They shall squeal and scream, metaphorically, at every twist of the book. Boring, lifeless character A snogs boring, lifeless character B. Big deal!
It's not how they read, and subsequently share on the internet, the books. It's how they buy them. Fellow sf/f fans shall agree that being an sf/f fan is like being in Fight Club. You don't talk about it. The idea is you walk into the bookshop, hunched over and silent. You paw through a few books, although it's more likely you'll know what you're looking for, find one that looks nice and buy it, then go home. I find para-romance readers go to the section with an entourage of friends. They giggle loudly as they talk about dud pararomance book number eight and how it's just come out, smugly hinting to the world they've read the whole series. Congratulations, you can read!
Once they've finally bought it, after half an hour of talking about who has decided to play hard to get more or which character had his shirt off the most in the last book, their pompousness doesn't stop. They decide to continue to talk about every minor detail to all their friends as they walk out of the store. Who is going to sleep with who, how great it would be as a movie (tip: it wouldn't) and how many more books they can buy. Must I refer back to my Fight Club analogy? You can talk about the book in a highly detailed and legible review, and that's it. Discussing out of the house, and out of sci-fi conventions, is a major no-no.
So, as a message to every reader of Meyer, Clare and whoever else you care to name. Think about what you're about to read, think really hard. And then go read something better."
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